Sunday, August 23, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Woke up groggily.
Had band uniform fitting today.
Purple vneck, compression shorts, over shorts, dinkles.
Had to get a TOTALLY refitted cause they couldn't find my uniform. Must've taken it out on accident... so someone else is wearing my uniform from last year.
Took me like.. an hour, hour & a half.
Went down a size in gloves. Cause mine were a little big last year.
Went down a pant size, cause I guess I didn't properly fit it on last year. hahaha.
Got the last small gauntlets left. WHOOT. :D
Orange cart, I remember.
My head's the same size. I got attached to my hat.
omg, I found the nasty black tape in there from last year when we taped down our gloves.
I'M SO EXCITED FOR BAND SEASON. =D
And my opening set is freaking ridiculous. I think the band will blame me, some, clarinets, & some flutes if we screw it up. Ahh, I'm scared. D:

So anyways.. yeah, I saw him. & it got me thinking.

You see, there's a whole story. Kinda. Maybe. Sorta. Yes, really.

So there's a boy & a girl, right? They kinda liked each other. But it was really awkward. But it was a cute-kind of awkward. So they go on a sorta date. & things were going fine. Until the girl stopped talking. Maybe it was because of insecurity. Maybe she was busy. Maybe she just didn't wanna leave him hanging. But she did anyway. The boy stopped talking too, as it takes 2 people at the least to keep a conversation. A month & a half passes by. They wave & nod in the other's direction, but it's not the same as before. The girl realizes she misses it, but she feels he had already lost interest. Until a voice in the wind tipped her off that another may be going after the boy. The girl was scared, she didn't want to lose him. But then she thought about it, & she realized that it was her fault to begin with. So she sees him again. It's still awkward. But it takes her a night's worth of rest to think about it. The girl decides to write a letter. Her final stand. The last stretch in a long & tiresome race. Did she win?
So about 30 minutes later, the boy calls.
& they begin to live in the happily ever after mindset.

The end.

Three days of straight thinking.

Oh yeah, & I made a senior do pushups. That was the highlight of my day on Friday. HAHAHA.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Youth Summer Retreat 'o9

So our theme for our Youth Summer Retreat 'o9 was Metamorphosis & about how we have to change. It was about 4 days & 3 nights, camping at Malibu Creek State Park(?). About 38 people went & we had about 7 tents. All of us were separated into 6 groups or "tribes". I was in group 6. Hahah, and we had like.. 8 people in our tent. Really bonding.

Tribes:
Lakalakanilao
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a Mahakilimahakilinu
Shika laka wuka nooka roof roof roof (?)
Kenai-Ha
Boo Lahk-lahk
Mighty Morphin' Endorphins

Here's my account of what I remember.



Tuesday, August 4: First night
Left church around 5:30
Rode in Ate Grace's car.
About 5(?) cars driving, maybe...
Ate Grace, Mirajoy, April, Veronnica, Me, Katrina, Ryan, Jesse, Kedwin
Illegally sat 4 people in a row.
We got there around 6 or 7.
Other people set up the tents.
Bathrooms about 30-40 feet away from the camp site.
Discussed the rules & the itinerary.
& what to do if bitten by a rattlesnake.
Played human foosball. Half of us didn't get to play cause it was getting dark already.
Split into tribes & discussed tribal stuff, like our tribal name, symbol, chant, etc.
Had cup ramen for dinner :)
Some mean lady next to us complained about our noise. It's not like we were like SUPER loud or anything, but she was just mean. >:(
And she was like, "I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 7:30, BLAH BLAH"
Half of us were thinking why she would even go camping in the first place. -_-
Mirajoy farted. & we had to get out of the tent. hahahahahaha.
Fell asleep at around 11 or 12.



Wednesday, August 5:
Woke up at 4 in the morning from the cold.
About 57 degrees.
Couldn't go back to sleep. Listened to some asian music.
The quiet gave me enough time to think in the morning & contemplate about showers.
& look at the itinerary for the day.
Sun came out at 6. People woke up at 7.
I just.. sat outside for a while. Morning felt refreshing.
I think we had spam, rice, and scrambled egg for breakfast.
Thank you.
The boys moved all the tables over to under the tree for our main site.
Took a shower. They told us it was $0.50 for a minute of hot water when it was really $0.50 for 3 minutes for water that you can adjust to any temperature. About $0.25 per minute & a half.
I realized I could take a shower in less than 5 minutes.
Group devotional.
I think it was about listening to God.
Tribe 6: Dinah, Jose, Justin, Elijah, Me, Jared, Cherlyn
We decided on our tribe name.
It stemmed from our choir skit of how one family grows and transforms together I guess.
In the choir skit, they used the other branch of the Lacanilao family.
So our tribe name ended up being the LakaLakaNiLao.
I was the mascot. ._.
Ate Dinah looked up some tribal symbols & we made a pretty sweet emblem.
Then we had to copy the same drawing.. about 20 times on scraps of paper.
I think we were the only ones with an intricate drawing.
Yeaaaaahh.
OH! then we had our first tribal game.
Native American Knights.
Pretty much jousting, but with styrofoam axes and the point was to knock off the stuffed animal from the other person's hat.
But instead of on foot or with horses, we had to piggyback ride on another tribe member.
Interesting.
I'd like to thank Ate Dinah's athleticism for our winning the game.
Then break time.
Most of us took a hike to the lake.
It was like.. a 40 minute hike.
We almost went the wrong way.
I just dipped my feet in the lake. Nasty green water.
Interesting conversations on the way back.
Yeah.
Went back.
Don't remember what happened though..
2nd game: War O'Tug.
Pretty much Tug of War.
We won again. =D
Nasty skin peeling off the fingers. Goodness.
Collected all of the emblems of people that lost to us.
Worked on tribe shirts. Our emblem pretty much.
Ate Dinah's was the most creative.
Made our tribe shields too.
Worship. w/ guitar.
I felt exposed cause not a lot of people were singing. Oh well.
I think I took another shower.
Night shower felt soooo goooood.
Interesting conversation between Veronnica & I. ;)
Don't remember much after that..
I think we got in trouble cause we were out & didn't come back until late.
& they were looking for us.

Thursday, August 6:
Woke up at 5 from the cold.
I <3 big bang.
Looked over itinerary.
Packed bags for beach.
Not much to say.
Mmm. Rode to the beach.
NICE SAND, OMG. best sand ever. it wins.
Ran across the shore, walked through the shallow parts of the ocean.
With my clothes on. yaaaay.
tsismis. (sp?)
SAUCE-DIPPER. HAW HAW.
Rating people.. xD Compare + Contrast.
Had secret conversations.
Got pulled over cause the parking permit ran out.
Game 3: Warterloon war.
Water balloons are awesome. I fail at aiming though.
No points to anyone.
Got called out for sneaking to the showers when it was fellowshipping time.
Showered.
Group devotional.
Consistency vs. Spontaneity.
Prayer requires discipline. Or as Justin calls it, "DISCIPLEEN."
Group Tribal Ceremony rehearsals.
We just made our group chant. Cause no one really wanted to do a story.
Dinner time. GOOD FOOD.
Ahaha, we got everyone involved in a conversation about how we could get the whole church related. SO FUNNY.
& I don't have to marry anyone from CICC. Yay me =D
Just ask CrisMarc about it.
Finally, tribal ceremony.
Everyone presented their chants & skits.
We had to vote for the best at the end.
No one voted for us.
Why??
Cause I decided to be a jerk during rehearsals and suggest that we bash the other tribes.
How?
By calling out their tribe name wrong & having Elijah blowdart them down.
Oh, well. :/
Yeah, that was a mean thing to do. I'm sorry.
Lol. It was a tie between Kenai-Ha (?) & Mighty Morphin' Endorphins.
DANCE BATTLE.
Of course, Mighty Morphin had the advantage of Ate Grace on their team.
Really good dancer.
It took 2 rounds. Ate Grace's group first did like.. stuff. and then krumping.
Kenai-Ha was okay. Hahaha, CJ jumped over the fire pit thing. What in the world, boy.
Mighty Morphin's 2nd dance was pretty much the same thing, but she said to go slow-motion.
Good stuff. It was entertaining.
Their chant from earlier was stuck in my head. "Zoloft ooh ooh oooooh"
& they used pots to make a sound effect.
Then.. S'MORES!!
What's a camp without s'mores?
SO YUMMY.
Then lights out.
But then.. ugh.
Drama.
I lost whatever respect I had for someone. Whatever.
Veronnica & I moved out of the tent to Ate Grace's tent.

Friday, August 7:
Woke up wearing the tribe shirt.
Woke up at around 6 this morning.
Packed my stuff.
Almost stepped on someone's face.
Waited for people to wake up.
Saw some of the girls tying tampons to the boys' shoes and leave a pad in their tent. HAHAHA.
Had some breakfast.
Roasted hot dog & some cereal.
Took pictures.
Group pictures.
Hit by waterballoons. Dodged some.
Packed up e'erthang.
Rode back to church.
Saw some beautiful scenery.
Got 3rd place on the race to church.

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.

I guess.. I've also said I had a lot of realizations at camp.
For some reason, I have always idolized a certain person. Like how everyone, like.. well.. liked them. I sort of envied them, seeing as how my life could compare to theirs as lonely or.. well.. loveless. Hahahaha. But then, I guess.. someone said something about them. & it got me to thinking. Like, I've been very contemplative in the mornings. I've finally seen what this person was. & to hear it confirmed from another mouth, an experienced mouth. Just got me to thinking. I watched this person & finally realized what people thought. Seeing someone from another perspective changed my way of thinking almost completely. So weird.
I'm totally innocent in this type of game.
Seeing someone through the eyes of a player really gave me some insight.
I wasn't so sure. So then.. when I was eating at Costco with Hans, Nieman, & Ryan..
I guess, I wanted to confirm how they think of the situation.
It was.. well.. right.
I was astounded at how a person can just look & tell. How one person could just see through the disguise at another.
Dang, dude.
I'm amazed.

So.. yeah. I think I've said enough with that little paragraph. Might say too much.

To sum it all up, I guess... I've learned a little more from one person than I did from the bigger group of people.
I've learned a little more about self-worth & not selling yourself short.
I've learned that people can really see through your disguise, when you're putting up a front. Especially when you're.. well... (dare I say it, Veronnica?) smitten. (XD)
I mean, I wasn't. But I guess things spill through when you're totally not focused on God.
I'd like to thank that one person for teaching me such lessons without meaning to. Just seeing such displays of character has really had an impact on my old way of thinking.

Now that that's settled..
Now it's the time for METAMORPHOSIS.

The old Lauren was fooling herself when she thought of all those things, all of those insecurities.
Now is the time for self-acceptance. & truthfulness.

I feel renewed.

Thank you.

You came in and out of my life like a storm.. but I'll never forget the words you said that changed my world completely. - 080509

Church-hopping?

Take me away!
Just not to Light of the World.

I love CICC youth group.
Honestly, this retreat has been freaking bomb.
I shall blog later.

Why would I wanna go church hopping?
To cure my unnatural hunger for newbs.
Cause I grew up with everyone at CICC.
& they all remember my wemo/geek days.

No! I don't wanna switch up just yet..

But checking is good. Checking is nice. Checking is.. harmless.
Maybe an alliance or friendship would be nice to develop with people from other churches.
Good fellowship, good fellowship.

Okay, that was a random rant.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Heartsick.

I don't really want a boyfriend..
but I don't want to freaking die alone either.
Y'know?

I'm so sick of love songs.
So sick of songs about being sick about love songs.
So sick of love songs about people who are sick of love songs.

& I'm tired of filipino adults asking me if I have a "boypriend" at parties.
Cause I don't. I don't need to be reminded.
& since I don't, they ask why I don't.
Cause if I did, they'd talk about me behind my back about how I'm too young.
What in the world?

And I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately...
I just want someone to tell me the truth about myself.
People say I could get anyone I want?
Then tell me why I'm still alone.
People say that I'm too good for some people?
Then tell me.. do I really deserve to feel like this?
Tell me what's wrong with me. I'll try to fix it.
But don't give me the impression that I'm higher than some people.
Cause I'm not.
I'd rather be in a lower class with reciprocated love than be higher where it's lonely.
Am I desperate? Please say so.
In fact, please slap me.
I'd rather be slapped back to reality with the brutal & blunt truth than hear false flattery & lame rationalizations of why my love life sucks.
In fact, I've been cursed with almost the same situation over and over again.

Is it because I'm not good enough? or too good?
Is it because I dimmer in the HER presence, or shine too much?
Is it because I'm immature? or too mature?
Just be honest.

It's not that I feel desperate, it's just..
months ago, I came to the realization that the guys I like will never like me back.
& it was that official time.. months ago, that I stopped liking people in that manner completely.
Look where that's gotten me.

I don't believe in Cupid.
If I did, I'd say that he hates me.

Stupid Cupid, stop picking on me.
Didn't you achieve your desired goal?

Kay, so that's then end of my rant.
Time to forget about it.

Time to go shoe shopping.
But it would be nice to have someone to look forward to seeing.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

VBS (Vacation Bible School) 'o9

Stuff happened.
Lemme give you an account of what I remember. (fun stuff)
Hah.

Day 1:
Peter follows Jesus skits/interpretation.
Fishers of men.
THE SHIP IS SINKING.
ONLY 2 PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED ON A BOAT.
& RJ'S THE DRIVER.
FIND RJ.

Day 2:
Slip & Slide?
NASTY SPLINTER IN MY SOLE. (I don't remember whether or not this was day 2.)
When I say nasty, I MEAN nasty.
Running through water, diving into a soaked mat.
Pushing people into the water.
Landing on my shoulder after a dive.
I thank God for no sustained injury & I thank band for tough physical training.
But I had fun getting soaked.
Then realizing I didn't bring a towel, just extra clothes. Hahaha. Stupid Lauren.
Sinking ship? I forget.
Left my sandals in the classroom.

Day 3:
Purple pants. :D
Duck walks.
Ate Dinah would make a really good physical trainer.
M&M throwing. Won 1st game.
Freeze tag in a small area at night.
Fun fun.
Left sandals in the classroom again.

Day 4:
COLORS.
Freeze tag.
Steal the bacon.
Owie. :(
Hannah skinned her knee cause I dived for the ball. I twisted my back baaaad. Only a few cuts on my leg.
Why am I aggressive when it comes to games & not when it comes to social stuff?
Pointless sleeping bag/potato sack game.
Left sandals in classroom again.

Day 5:
Purple v-neck from Forever 21.
Sustained cuts. Realized I only put a band-aid on one cut, out of 5.
Trivia. We lost :(
Loser team has to stand in a line without losing & winning team gets to throw water balloons.
YUMMY FOOD.
Remembered to bring sandals home from classroom.

I got closer to some of my peers. =)
Mirajoy's stares.
Josh making fun of my distracting sounds for the trivia game (UHHHH!)
Geolyn & mine's BFF day.
Reconnected with Veronnica & Roice. lolwtf.
Reminisced about last VBS.
Got motivated by the girls to go to youth camp last minute. (Hope it'll be a blast!)

YEAH.
I think that's it?
Maybe I'll edit later. lol.