There's something about the weeks after 3-day weekends that just make me want to scream.
I don't know why, but I feel like I just wanna skip school..
I wake up every morning thinking "FML" and I have this internal battle between my better judgment and my sleepiness. They somehow compromise at 6:30 with grumpiness and unhappiness.
Pretty much, I'm just complaining. And I'm slightly worried for March. Just waiting for my grades to drop because of my crazy teachers.. I mean, I've been doing well so far, in comparison to last semester, but it's made me very wary as to the upcoming assignments and whether I should stay up now to do or or sacrifice my freetime on weekends.
IDK.
Well, on the hand, I found my friend, Bernard Chen, on facebook! :D
I haven't seen him since 7th grade cause he moved to Taiwan in my 8th grade year. :[
We kept in contact for a while, often on holidays.. but I lost contact with him around freshmen year and he was being a butthead and wouldn't get a myspace or check his email to give me his new email. So then last week-ish/month-ish, I got a facebook at the suggestion of my friend Hannah Bernabe (http://bananuhbee.blogspot.com/) and decided "Hey, I should see if I can find Bernard. Chances are slim though, since it's always been a hassle to look for someone with a Chinese last name in Taiwan... -_-"
And so I did. Idk. That made me somewhat happier. Hehe, he still looks so young but the last I remember, he was growing up so fast. hahahaha.
And I got in contact with Sam again. And his drama. I miss the old days.. kind of.. sort of..
Maybe just the memories, but definitely not the outlook.
Blahh, so these are just what I've been thinking for the past few days.
I've been studying, so thats why I haven't been online much.
It feels stressful cause I pretty much use the computer everyday.
NO! I don't celebrate Lent, because I am not Catholic.
And my parents and church don't practice it either. Even though they're both filipino.
So I don't think it's a Baptist holiday.
So therefore, I sacrifice nothing.
Sorry.
However, my resolution is try and get better grades to raise my GPA some.
And to NOT get a C. Hahaha.
Also, I went to the AP Information Night...
idk. I might take English 11 AP... IDK if I can handle it yet.
My parents want me to take APUSH as well and I'm just thinking "WTFNO,ICANTDOIT"
Cause my work ability is lower than average academic asian. Like, I seriously think I cannot handle it with band. Forreal.
Like thinking about all that work makes me wanna cry and my parents really want me to. .-.
And band actually means more to me than a lot of things.
And they want me to do a bunch of stuff.
-__________-
I think they overestimate me sometimes...
On the other hand, they bribed me with Guitar Hero and/or Rock Band and DDR.
D:
I should get back to work. :*
And I really should practice flute.
I REALLY don't wanna be in concert band next year. D:
Oh, and my mom wants me to take Architectural elective next year, but I have no room..
Unless I don't take Spanish 3... :o
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Yes, Kevjumba.
The world really does need more interracial babies.
There's too much racism in the world. But if races are intertwined in many different combinations, you wouldn't be able to offend them as simple as other races.
You can call them mutts, sure, but if everyone was a mutt, that wouldn't be such a huge issue, now would it?
idk.
I need a new youtube comedian.
Also! What I noticed with notable [asian] youtube comedians is that they have certain similarites... (based on my old favorites: kevjumba, nigahiga, shimmycocopuffsss, etc. etc.)
1. They all have started their youtube accounts around 15 years old-ish or junior year
2. Most (if not all) happen to have old lip-synching videos, if you research far back
3. Most were not recognized or did not come to online fame until senior year-ish.
4. They're heading to college! someway or another...
5. They always have to rant about asian stereotypes, parents, or they always have to incorporate something that they despise (or love) about their background into a video.. or two.. or all (for others)
I'll think of more, but you get what I mean.
Right?
D:
There's too much racism in the world. But if races are intertwined in many different combinations, you wouldn't be able to offend them as simple as other races.
You can call them mutts, sure, but if everyone was a mutt, that wouldn't be such a huge issue, now would it?
idk.
I need a new youtube comedian.
Also! What I noticed with notable [asian] youtube comedians is that they have certain similarites... (based on my old favorites: kevjumba, nigahiga, shimmycocopuffsss, etc. etc.)
1. They all have started their youtube accounts around 15 years old-ish or junior year
2. Most (if not all) happen to have old lip-synching videos, if you research far back
3. Most were not recognized or did not come to online fame until senior year-ish.
4. They're heading to college! someway or another...
5. They always have to rant about asian stereotypes, parents, or they always have to incorporate something that they despise (or love) about their background into a video.. or two.. or all (for others)
I'll think of more, but you get what I mean.
Right?
D:
Monday, February 16, 2009
Fire. LOL.
Cooking fire.
The alarm went off earlier.
My mom opened all of the doors and windows.
[Later.]
Fire truck appears at the front of our house. Like... 30 minutes later.
When the house would've burnt down already.
He's like "Are you okay, ma'am? The response system called earlier and you didn't answer."
Mom: "Well, you see, I opened the phone and they weren't there anymore. I was waiting for another call. Don't worry, it was just the stove."
"Well, alright ma'am..." blah blah blah.
The Curse
The Curse -- By Lauren Lacanilao, made in approx. 1 hour.
(Sorry, there's no breaks between paragraphs. I was too lazy.)
Once upon a time, there was a young girl. She was very plain and boring, so her parents had decided to teach her the arts. Over time, she grew to be talented, and she made very close friends. Yet, her face was still plain and her ability to communicate with big groups of people was undeveloped. She lived a simple, yet blissful lifestyle. She was blessed with a close circle of friends and artistic talent. One day, a beautiful maiden came into town and dazzled the townsfolk. Although the young, plain girl had lived in the village her entire life, she was not able to influence the town in the way that the beautiful maiden did. In a short time, all had loved the maiden and soon forgot the plain girl that had lived there for years. In secrecy, the plain girl was determined to find out how the beautiful maiden had accomplished such an effect on the townspeople. Some of the men of the town ridiculed the plain girl for wishing such nonsense. A conniving man came to town and saw that the plain girl was yearning to be loved like the maiden. He whispered sweet lies in her ear and told her that it was her beauty that inspired the love from the villagers. Determined to achieve the same level of admiration, the plain girl's heart was hardened against the maiden and she withdrew from the town, moving to the outskirts. A fairy appeared to the plain girl and asked her what changed her heart and caused her so much pain. The plain girl replied scornfully and told the fairy of her wish for beauty. The fairy was hesitant and told the plain girl of the consequence as to what the price of beauty was. However, the plain girl scoffed and demanded for her wish to be fulfilled, despite the grim consequences. Sadly, the fairy helped the plain girl dispel her physical faults and helped in her appearance. When the former plain girl returned to the town, the men that had once ridiculed her treated her nicely, and the people that had once ignored her became her friends. She was happy for a time, until she met with her close group of friends. They could not believe that she would take such measures to achieve her superficial goal, and they left her. However, the girl was not fazed. She was convinced she had made the right choice and told herself that if they were her true friends, they would be happy for her. Although she was not the fairest in the land, she had attracted the attention of many of the villagers. Time had passed and a new person stepped into her life. He was talented, influential and certainly easy on the eyes. She vyed for the attention of the newcomer, and they were soon acquaintances. However, she was inevitably heartbroken. He fell in love with a princess, and it was very evident that she was the one for him. The newcomer referred many suitors to the girl, but she was not pleased. She hid from society and reflected on the matter. She blamed the fairy. Later, the fairy appeared to the girl and morphed into an evil sorceress. The sorceress stated that the girl was the only one to blame, and she explained why. The girl was ungrateful and had wished for beauty, but only on the outside appearance. The girl realized that she had everything from the start, but was too caught up the in events that she wished without thinking. Her selfish acts downplayed the consequences of the "blessing" from the fairy. She wished for beauty, but she was not truly ready for it. She looked like a woman, but inside, she was still a child. The fairy had forewarned her, but the girl still believed that beauty was the key to love.
Her consequence was the curse of unrequited love. Her new beauty would have attracted many, but when she would turn her attention to one person and bare her soul to him, he would see the real her and would be almost instantaneously be repelled. Those who she did not love would only see her physical beauty and would only be attracted to that, or she would not be able to return their affections. If only she did not make that wish, so that her true love would see the real her, and accept her for who she is. Regrettably, the curse was irreversible, and to this day, she lives in the cycle of heartbreak that the curse created.
(Sorry, there's no breaks between paragraphs. I was too lazy.)
Once upon a time, there was a young girl. She was very plain and boring, so her parents had decided to teach her the arts. Over time, she grew to be talented, and she made very close friends. Yet, her face was still plain and her ability to communicate with big groups of people was undeveloped. She lived a simple, yet blissful lifestyle. She was blessed with a close circle of friends and artistic talent. One day, a beautiful maiden came into town and dazzled the townsfolk. Although the young, plain girl had lived in the village her entire life, she was not able to influence the town in the way that the beautiful maiden did. In a short time, all had loved the maiden and soon forgot the plain girl that had lived there for years. In secrecy, the plain girl was determined to find out how the beautiful maiden had accomplished such an effect on the townspeople. Some of the men of the town ridiculed the plain girl for wishing such nonsense. A conniving man came to town and saw that the plain girl was yearning to be loved like the maiden. He whispered sweet lies in her ear and told her that it was her beauty that inspired the love from the villagers. Determined to achieve the same level of admiration, the plain girl's heart was hardened against the maiden and she withdrew from the town, moving to the outskirts. A fairy appeared to the plain girl and asked her what changed her heart and caused her so much pain. The plain girl replied scornfully and told the fairy of her wish for beauty. The fairy was hesitant and told the plain girl of the consequence as to what the price of beauty was. However, the plain girl scoffed and demanded for her wish to be fulfilled, despite the grim consequences. Sadly, the fairy helped the plain girl dispel her physical faults and helped in her appearance. When the former plain girl returned to the town, the men that had once ridiculed her treated her nicely, and the people that had once ignored her became her friends. She was happy for a time, until she met with her close group of friends. They could not believe that she would take such measures to achieve her superficial goal, and they left her. However, the girl was not fazed. She was convinced she had made the right choice and told herself that if they were her true friends, they would be happy for her. Although she was not the fairest in the land, she had attracted the attention of many of the villagers. Time had passed and a new person stepped into her life. He was talented, influential and certainly easy on the eyes. She vyed for the attention of the newcomer, and they were soon acquaintances. However, she was inevitably heartbroken. He fell in love with a princess, and it was very evident that she was the one for him. The newcomer referred many suitors to the girl, but she was not pleased. She hid from society and reflected on the matter. She blamed the fairy. Later, the fairy appeared to the girl and morphed into an evil sorceress. The sorceress stated that the girl was the only one to blame, and she explained why. The girl was ungrateful and had wished for beauty, but only on the outside appearance. The girl realized that she had everything from the start, but was too caught up the in events that she wished without thinking. Her selfish acts downplayed the consequences of the "blessing" from the fairy. She wished for beauty, but she was not truly ready for it. She looked like a woman, but inside, she was still a child. The fairy had forewarned her, but the girl still believed that beauty was the key to love.
Her consequence was the curse of unrequited love. Her new beauty would have attracted many, but when she would turn her attention to one person and bare her soul to him, he would see the real her and would be almost instantaneously be repelled. Those who she did not love would only see her physical beauty and would only be attracted to that, or she would not be able to return their affections. If only she did not make that wish, so that her true love would see the real her, and accept her for who she is. Regrettably, the curse was irreversible, and to this day, she lives in the cycle of heartbreak that the curse created.
The end.
Moral of this story?
Figure it out yourself.
So sad, so sad.
Happy Valentines Day.. or Singles Awareness.
Hope you're having a lovely time.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Silly Bucket List
My secret wishes and goals before I kick the bucket.. REVEALED. Hahahaha. However, there are things that will remain secret unless you asked me. Haha.
It's still growing! Just as soon as I get more ideas...
1. Go on a road trip with my closest friends.
2. Defeat an asian at DDR (Impossible for me it seems...)
3. Memorize over 40 scales
4. Learn to be spontaneous
5. Be so awesome that the word "awesome" must be put in my eulogy
6. Learn to dance
7. Reach out to someone lonely
8. Audition for something worthwhile and make it
9. Go back to Europe and enjoy every minute of it
10. Try all types of Boba Milk Tea and Slush
11. Watch the Notebook
12. Find my Bernard Chen in Taiwan :(
13. Travel throughout Southeast Asia and soak up all the culture
14. Meet the Jabbawockeez
15. Go to an anime convention (even though I don't like it anymore)
16. Learn to play a marimba
17. Learn an Asian language
18. Stop someone from bad habits
19. Meet the staff of WONGFU PRODUCTIONS!!!
20. Buy something not because I needed it, but just for the sake of loving something so much.
21. Meet Quest Crew
22. Meet Supreme Soul
23. Visit Australia
24. Go paintballing
25. Get married
26. Do a collab. vid
27. Water fight at Disneyland
28. Be a Booster for Ayala BAC after college XD
29. Watch a REAL dance competition
30. Tour the Great Wall of China
31. Make a youtube vid doing weird stuff on the Wall
32. STEAL ONE OF KUYA HANS'S SHOES AND THEN DON'T TELL HIM WHERE I PUT IT.
33. Get kicked out of a store
34. Learn how to use whiteout nicely
35. Ride a unicycle
I apologize if I skipped a number. I suck at numbering things manually on the computer. D:
It's still growing! Just as soon as I get more ideas...
1. Go on a road trip with my closest friends.
2. Defeat an asian at DDR (Impossible for me it seems...)
3. Memorize over 40 scales
4. Learn to be spontaneous
5. Be so awesome that the word "awesome" must be put in my eulogy
6. Learn to dance
7. Reach out to someone lonely
8. Audition for something worthwhile and make it
9. Go back to Europe and enjoy every minute of it
10. Try all types of Boba Milk Tea and Slush
11. Watch the Notebook
12. Find my Bernard Chen in Taiwan :(
13. Travel throughout Southeast Asia and soak up all the culture
14. Meet the Jabbawockeez
15. Go to an anime convention (even though I don't like it anymore)
16. Learn to play a marimba
17. Learn an Asian language
18. Stop someone from bad habits
19. Meet the staff of WONGFU PRODUCTIONS!!!
20. Buy something not because I needed it, but just for the sake of loving something so much.
21. Meet Quest Crew
22. Meet Supreme Soul
23. Visit Australia
24. Go paintballing
25. Get married
26. Do a collab. vid
27. Water fight at Disneyland
28. Be a Booster for Ayala BAC after college XD
29. Watch a REAL dance competition
30. Tour the Great Wall of China
31. Make a youtube vid doing weird stuff on the Wall
32. STEAL ONE OF KUYA HANS'S SHOES AND THEN DON'T TELL HIM WHERE I PUT IT.
33. Get kicked out of a store
34. Learn how to use whiteout nicely
35. Ride a unicycle
I apologize if I skipped a number. I suck at numbering things manually on the computer. D:
Hobbies?
So I've been thinking about random stuff lately and when someone asked me what my hobbies were, I just froze up.
I honestly could not think of anything to say.
Cause... what do I do everyday?
Sleep, Eat, Practice Flute, Homework, Free Time, Run on a Treadmill (occasionally)
I seriously could not figure out what to say, so my answer was pretty much:
I honestly could not think of anything to say.
Cause... what do I do everyday?
Sleep, Eat, Practice Flute, Homework, Free Time, Run on a Treadmill (occasionally)
I seriously could not figure out what to say, so my answer was pretty much:
"Uhh, I'll get back to you on the one."
So.. let's make a list of hobbies that I should start doing on the computer instead of growing fat on the computer. -______-
Ripsticking
Freehand - Glowsticking
Rollerblading
SHOOT. Now, I can't even think about what I could do. My mum is making me do dance at the Civic Center in the Spring. Like March-ish. IDK.
Ate Bic said her debut practice starts around April-ish. Might give me something to do...
Hrm...
And I haven't even finished my Bucket List for Kuya Jason's assignment. I should get back to that too. ):
Pehhhh, I'm so lazy. I don't like this at all.
I really liked Lacrosse though, but without rules.
Meh. I'll get back to this later.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Stereotypical Asian Survey. Boredom kills.
[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[ ] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[x But I'm disabled at it]You think DDR is cool
[Not anymore] You watch anime
[X] You like Korean drama
[ ] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[XXXX] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
Total: 4
[ ] You eat rice almost everyday
[ ] You drink lemon tea
[x]You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x I can't beleive it either.] You always get A's/B's on your real report
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[x] You play badminton or table tennis
[] You've seen the Asian version The ring/The grudge
[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
Total: 9
[x Toyota?] You own an Asian car
[x] You're not the only child
[ ] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[x Just judged based on my past] You prefer asian guys over white guys (If you're a guy)You prefer asian girls over white girls
[X XD] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games
[x] Everytime you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[x MAGIC MIC] You have karaoke at home
[x I know of them.. and apparently, Miyavi > Gackt] You know BOA/Gazette/Ayumi Hamasaki/Gackt
[x] You've been to a LAX more than 3 times
[x I had incense in a shape of a guitar..] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[x] You own a gaming console
Total: 13
[x]You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school
[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[x] You don't like football
[x] You have a curfew
[x tb's are kind of cute though.. ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[x] You know what purikura is
[XXXX] You like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies
[x] You know what bok choy is
[x I memorized it in 7th grade] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[ ] You had a tutor
[x] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[x] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad"
Total: 14
Total X's so far: 40
(Your answer) X 3 = How asian you are
120%?!?!?!!
[ ] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[x But I'm disabled at it]You think DDR is cool
[Not anymore] You watch anime
[X] You like Korean drama
[ ] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[XXXX] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
Total: 4
[ ] You eat rice almost everyday
[ ] You drink lemon tea
[x]You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x I can't beleive it either.] You always get A's/B's on your real report
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[x] You play badminton or table tennis
[] You've seen the Asian version The ring/The grudge
[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
Total: 9
[x Toyota?] You own an Asian car
[x] You're not the only child
[ ] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[x Just judged based on my past] You prefer asian guys over white guys (If you're a guy)You prefer asian girls over white girls
[X XD] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games
[x] Everytime you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[x MAGIC MIC] You have karaoke at home
[x I know of them.. and apparently, Miyavi > Gackt] You know BOA/Gazette/Ayumi Hamasaki/Gackt
[x] You've been to a LAX more than 3 times
[x I had incense in a shape of a guitar..] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[x] You own a gaming console
Total: 13
[x]You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school
[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[x] You don't like football
[x] You have a curfew
[x tb's are kind of cute though.. ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[x] You know what purikura is
[XXXX] You like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies
[x] You know what bok choy is
[x I memorized it in 7th grade] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[ ] You had a tutor
[x] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[x] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad"
Total: 14
Total X's so far: 40
(Your answer) X 3 = How asian you are
120%?!?!?!!
Thinking back..
It's funny how people that haven't seen me for like a year or so are so surprised to see what I look like. "Oh, Lauren, you're so grown up now!" Translation: "Oh, Lauren, you're not that ugly anymore!"
Come to think of it, my 8th grade graduating picture was pretty ugly. xD
Why do I think it's funny? Cause I really don't care anymore. Closure, I think.
I remember my thoughts back to the summer after 8th grade. It was a long struggle, but I managed to complete my goals: Look better, act nicer, and try to make a lot of friends that would look out for you.
I was a weird kind of happy back then, but I was WAY unhappy with my self-image, even though I had the most accepting kind of friends in the world.
Back to the story, after I made that vow, I decided to start paying attention to what girls my age wore those days, cause I was so accustomed to uniform (Dennis) pants and collared shirts. Oh my goodness.
It took me a while to open up to that sort of style, but as time began to pass, I started smiling for real. Like.. I could actually smile in pictures without feeling stupid or embarrassed about the photograph.
It took me a while to open up to that sort of style, but as time began to pass, I started smiling for real. Like.. I could actually smile in pictures without feeling stupid or embarrassed about the photograph.
One of the first moments I remember that helped me get to positive thinking was my first time at Cue, when Ate Nicole dropped by my house and picked me (which was also one of the first times my mom didn't hassle me about last-second plans to go and hang out). People's first trips to Cue don't normally lead to life-changing experiences, but I felt like there was a chance for me to change and improve myself; and to start accepting my self-image. It was actually then did I realize that I had a chance to actually try to be pretty.
So when I set out for my goal, it was the end of my "wemo" days when I would feel so alone in the world, like I had nothing. This opportunity opened my eyes.I have more to say, but my thought hasn't fully completed in my head. Maybe another picture would bring back some of my feelings from before. IDK.
So anyway, that's it. A little part of my past for you.
I'm definitely not perfect and I hope this has changed some people's views that my life wasn't as happy as it seems to be now.
And in conclusion, it took nearly a 2 year transformation from this:
To this:
Okay, so it's not really one of my best, but still, 2 years ago, I would never have dared to make that face in public without cringing later or feeling ashamed or feeling like the whole world is going to judge me. Because who cares what the world thinks?And I think, this is my first blog with actual meaning. Hahaha, feels pretty darn good.
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