AP English is both a gift and a curse.

"What do they mean when they say this?"
"What are they trying to tell me?"

Symbolism. Diction. Tone. Detail. Syntax. Apostrophe. Red herring. AP Lit terms.

I see them everywhere I go.
Every message sent, every text read, every bit of eavesdropping heard.
You can't help it.
You must interpret it.
Everything has meaning.
Nothing is meaningless.
But at the same time, it could be meaningful.

What do I mean by that?
It drives me insane.

I may not seem like I can write WELL in this blog, but you know what?
This is how my mind speaks. This is the gateway to my conscious.
If I must explain it in unstable terms, I would tell you that the voice in my head makes itself heard through the power of the "Publish Post" button.
Whoever hears it.. I don't know all, but I have a pretty good estimate of who does.
I almost absolutely refuse to let this be in proper essay format.
I shall save that for later and for when the time calls for it.

Lemme get back to topic. Tangents are distracting. I just spelled "are" like "and".

A gift in a way that you've seen things you've never seen before.
You understand so much more.
Your horizons expand.
You mature through your writing and critical thinking.
You apply that knowledge to everyday life.

Yet, also a curse.
Knowledge is power.
Too much power is dangerous.
I interpret things that would better be left unknown.
Or things that I should not interpret.
Because I am affected by simple mindful emotions.
I am affected deeply at times, when my emotions tend to be worn on my sleeve.
And sometimes, when I think of such a statement, I think..
"Why don't we all go sleeveless?"
But to do such a thing would be.. weird.
I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I'm sick. :( And I can't sleep.
If things were only that simple.

I'm rambling now.

Go back to the point.

I see things I shouldn't see.
I overthink things that should be as simple as they look. Or are they really as simple as they look?
There are only few people in this world that truly understand me. That truly catch my drift. That honestly know what I'm trying to say here.

They understand the thoughts running through my head before they have a chance to put their shoes on.

I'm so thankful for them.

But was this blog supposed to be AP English? ahaha. Lauren, you fail.
So much for hoping to get a 3 or higher on the AP exam.
Let's see how you fare.

This topic is dead. Hahahah.
So let me continue my ramblings.

Longing.
If only I was as childlike as them.
Then my malicious thoughts would not eat me slowly.
Then my mind would be free of negative emotions, in pure innocence.
Then I would not have to suffer from self-contamination.
Then I could say I have achieved peace of mind.

I would say that I hate it.

But like everything..

It happens for a reason.