Darling, you're still a child.

I would like to call this an impulse blog.

Anything I decide to post on impulse is not well thought out, nor has it been scripted or pondered on for longer than 3 days.

I would like to address this to someone very special.

Yet very young. Immature, almost.

You'll never read this.

But if you do, you'll never understand it until someone explains it to you.

You try so hard to be someone that pleases me.

It's sweet, but sometimes it gets a little bland because I can't tell if you're happy doing it.

It almost makes me sad, because it's blind. Blind affection.

You strive to make me happy, even if it makes you sad. But you can never tell that when you're sad, the effort you made is almost useless. Because when you're sad, it makes me sad.

Sometimes, I wonder what led me to make that important decision that would change both of our lives.

Sometimes, I complain that there's no depth in what we have. It's taken at face value.

But then again, it's probably the reason why I made that decision anyway.

"Without depth, it would not be complicated", is what I thought.

It's not that I was terribly wrong, but the complexity of the matter presented itself in a different manner.

Nawwm' saying?

I love you.. but you're still so young.

You think that the incident that happened before is the worst thing you've ever experienced in your life. You think it'll go away like nothing ever happened. You think that's the worst you will EVER experience in your life.

I'm sorry, but you're so sheltered sometimes.

That was just a notch of hardship on my belt.

I know it seems like I'm bragging, but I'm not.

You think the world crashed down on you.

Baby, the sky hasn't even begun to fall.

Sometimes I wonder whether or not to let you go..

Let you experience your own hardships and failures.

Maybe come back when you've matured on your own, and formed your own opinion.

But I just can't let go of your hand.

Maybe it's that motherly instinct that leads me to keep you, to protect you.

But in the end, I fear that it will screw you over..

when you realize I'm not going to be there for you forever.

Yet.. I still maintain that hope that I will be able to guide you along your path.

Maybe that's why I'm still here for you. With you.

Because if it ends sooner than expected, I fear my words will be meaningless to you.

You will be too hurt to listen to me. You will hate me.

And the next one that picks you up won't be able to help you at all.

You're so sensitive, I'm so scared.

I don't know.

Just something to think about.

I'll ramble on more, later.

Using the computer at a party. How foolish.